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A Few Thoughts On Finding Erma

11/4/2014

Yesterday (November 3, 2014) was my wife's birthday. We have celebrated 36 of these together. It has been a momentous journey. There have been hilltops and valleys. There have been moments floating above the clouds and even a few in the depths of the sea. She has been faithful to me in it all. I have had her only by my side in these years; my one and only love. I am not bragging. I am glorying in the ways of God. God has shown Himself more faithful than us both, as if that were a surprise. We began with a determination to do things His way. And in some ways have miserably failed. But His Mercy endures forever!

The Proverb writer declared, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Proverbs 18:22. When I found Erma I found a good thing, and the LORD has highly favored me! For me it is just simple enough for us to believe what God said. In this article I just want to share some of what I have learned through our relationship and perhaps be a blessing to someone. When the proverb says “Whoso findeth...” one could think that means a man should go about looking for a wife. I believe there is a better way revealed here.

The Psalmist said, "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him." Psalm 62:5. We are not to go about seeking a wife or husband. We are to go about seeking God. That person who seeks a wife will be looking for “the one” they consider the right choice. Israel did that when seeking a King and God gave them what they were looking for. He often gives us our desires and then sends leanness to our souls. (Psalm 106:15) The Israelites were seeking a king based on outward appearance. (1 Samuel 12:13) God wants us to look deeper. (1 Samuel 16:7) He desires a closer walk with Himself! "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4 (Psalm 37:4 and see Isaiah 58:14) When we walk with Him his desires become ours.

Erma showed up along my path. I had given up on finding “the one” and resigned myself to remain single. Then God designed the very thing that would bring Erma and me into the same circle. A very wise man taught me years later how to express what happened to us. He said, “If God wants you to marry, you will find the wife (or husband) God has for you in the midst of your ministering to others.” When he said that it was like he was telling our story.

Next notice with me that “Who findeth...findeth a good thing.” Now we will not play with the words. A good thing means...a good person or one who is suitable for me and marriage is a good thing, and life is good. Some of the best things in life are found when we are not looking for them. I remember numerous friends who knew Erma before I did. When they learned that I would be teaching at her church they kept saying, when you go there you will meet Erma. It seemed as if it would be impossible for me to go to her church without meeting her. If that were not enough, her pastor's wife blocked my path as I prepared to leave with the express purpose of introducing me to Erma. Even before I got to know her personally I was bombarded by these friends playing match-maker. One couple planned a get together and said to me, “We're having a party at our house, why don't you come and bring Erma.” Even the Evangelist at their Revival meeting knew us both and from the pulpit declared, “Mike is that you I see sitting over there with Erma, she is a good catch.”

Not to lift her up too much, let me suffice to say that Erma was busy in the midst of ministering when I met her. And that made her eminently attractive to me. You can't go wrong if you involve yourself in ministry and find someone doing the same. It doesn't have to be full-time ministry as was mine. Erma was doing voluntary ministry and was absorbed in and enjoying every minute of it! God brought into my path the very one He picked for me. And there has never been any doubt in my mind that this one is “the one” for me.

Can I do you a little favor and encourage you to seek the “favour of the LORD.” Here are the principles I see in my finding Erma:

1. Do not seek a mate- seek only a deeper relationship with God.

2. Resign yourself to let God decide when and if to bring your mate into your path of ministry.

3. Make certain you continue in your ministry and that your potential mate has the same ministry mind-set you have.

4. Rejoice in and share your story of God's work in your life.

5. Commit yourself to remain faithful until death should God bring someone to you.

I Love You, Erma Ruth McDonald Thornton, on our way to forever together. You are my perfect match. God is still teaching me today in our relationship even though in some things I may be a bit of a slow learner. O Magnify the LORD with me!

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I Don't Believe in Spanking!

10/28/2014

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I thought I might get your attention with that. Did you know the Bible no where encourages or even mentions spanking? Does that surprise you? Search, if you have a mind to and you will find absolutely no reference to “spanking” in the Bible! If I am wrong about this I welcome your reference, appreciate your concern, and will be more than happy to correct it in future posts. Now make no mistake about it, I do believe in proper discipline. But what is proper discipline?

When I was a single young man and attending college I had a room mate for whom I have the greatest regard. We talked for hours on end about a myriad of subjects. One day we talked about discipline styles. He was wise beyond his years because of the training of his Godly parents. He said to me, “My parents taught me that a child should not be spanked with the hand because hands were made for loving.” “They always used a rod.” Our conversation went on for some time and some of the ideas expressed in this message are really from him. (Originality is not one of my character traits.) “Hands are made for loving!” I have never forgotten that discussion or that wise statement. Now look with me at the definition of spanking:
From the Online Etymology Dictionary, by Douglas Harper
“spank” (verb) 1727, "to strike forcefully with the open hand, especially on the buttocks," possibly imitative of the sound of spanking.
“spanking” (noun) "act of striking with the open hand," especially as a punishment administered to children, 1854, verbal noun from spank (v.). Also, an adjective expressing something having a “striking” appearance.

Since the definition of spanking is the use of the “open hand” I have eliminated it as a means of discipline. Remember, “Hands are made for loving!” Particularly note the dates given for the earliest use of the words. The word “spank” did not come into common use until well after the translation of our beloved King James Version of the Bible! Spanking as described in the definition is not a Biblical form of discipline. So what is? I am glad you asked. Let's explore that.

The term “rod” is used in the scripture to refer to a branch, a twig or a stick used for various purposes. It is a tool or implement that may serve as a walking stick, a measuring stick, a staff, a weapon, a spear, and even a Scepter for a king or ruler. In addition, the original word is also used of a tribe or clan or a family. And finally there is the use of the rod as an instrument of discipline.

I can remember the earliest use of the the rod in my life. While I was a young child my mother carried a small switch (rod) with her wherever we went together. The truth is I probably needed it more than I got it but here I wish to make several observations. The switch was small. It fit the size of the boy. As I grew older and bigger the rod grew too! I searched my database (once called the memory) and recalled the last time I can remember the rod in my mother's hand. I think I was about 9 or 10 years old. I had mistreated a young lady at church and my mother went to a bush that grew alongside the church (I wondered if someone had planted them for this purpose.) and broke off a nice limb, striped the leaves, and lifted my pants legs and put a few stripes on me. The embarrassment of that episode in my life was worse than the rod but the rod communicated what it was supposed to: you can't be carrying on such foolishness. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15. It worked.

The rod has been a special blessing in my life. It helped keep me on the right track and God has blessed that my children have been good kids due to God's blessing on our ever-so-imperfect use of this corrective discipline. I am not being critical of those who disagree with me. This very article was prompted by a pamphlet I picked up from the National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse. There is some good advice in the pamphlet but also a disturbing lack of understanding of the proper way to administer corrective discipline.

The proper use of the rod is not abuse. Any discipline can become abusive. I have personally witnessed abuse that did not involve spanking. Examples would include: yelling and screaming at a child; slapping, shaking or jerking a child; hitting a child with large objects, and the list could go on and on. It is also abuse to allow a child to disrupt the lives of others with incessant crying and loud protests or noisy fits. Proper discipline makes these protests short or provides a quick exit from the public for the administering of correction. "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." Proverbs 29:15.

Dr. Donald Grey Barnhouse was a pastor, evangelist and radio speaker of a previous generation. I really enjoyed his ministry in the Word. Dr. Barnhouse traveled a lot and took his younger children with him. He spoke in one sermon about “the worship bag” they always took with them. It contained “a Bible, a Hymnbook and a Ping Pong paddle.” I loved it when he stated, “A Ping Pong paddle is a marvelous instrument of worship. It is small, makes a lot of noise and doesn't hurt much.” Children need discipline. "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early, diligently or quickly)." Proverbs 13:24 Did you notice the hate/love relationship God places on the use of the rod? (Our worship bag contained a paint stirring stick for the same reasons.)

The following is a list of important principles regarding the proper use of the rod. Please feel free to share others you know with me. I am not the expert on this subject.

1. Remember, Hands are made for loving! Let love be the guiding principle of your correction.
2. Use a rod that is appropriate for the size of the child. A small switch (rod) communicates well. If the rod does not grow with the child your use of it will become useless.
3. Do not give loud, verbal warnings as this can develop into an inappropriate display. Save your loud, verbal warnings for appropriate, life-threatening situations. They will be more effective that way.
4. Start with an appropriate amount of pain, but remember pain communicates. Too much pain is abusive and will be counterproductive. Check your anger. Corrective discipline is a practical need not a reaction to cover your own embarrassment.
5. Remove the child from public view. If your child becomes fitful postpone the discipline until you are out of public view and can explain the reasons (reproof) for the discipline. As a side note, parents should teach their children to sit quietly for extended periods at home before expecting them to do it in public places. Discipline not taught in the home should not be expected in public.
6. Explain your actions to the child and the proper behavior (reproof) you expect. Don't say this is going to hurt me more than you. They won't believe you. And you want to be believable.
7. Remember to make proper correction the goal not the cause. Proper discipline will produce quiet confidence, respectful actions and loving children that bring joy, not shame. Proverbs 29:15.
8. Apply the rod to the backside. God made a wonderful place for it. See, Proverbs 10:13; 26:3
9. Remember, corrective discipline is an event that should be remembered! Don't laugh or joke about it. Playing around with discipline will drain the life out of it.
10. Correct your child before someone else has to! And don't get mad when they have to do what you didn't do. Correction begun early in life (Proverbs 13:24) will be easier and pay future dividends.

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 23:13-14. The solemn words of these verses need to be heeded. A corrected or disciplined child will not be guaranteed to miss out on a devil's hell (which can only be avoided by faith in Christ Jesus) but from abiding with those who are the residents of hell, the grave, and the pit of sin. (The Hebrew word here is translated hell thirty-one times, the grave thirty-one times and three times as the pit.) Susanna Wesley taught her children to “cry softly,” not throw a fit, when corrected. May her tribe increase! This can be done if done early. I commend the reader to the Word of God and its simple but straight forward principles. If we fail to use proper corrective discipline we fall under the discipline of the LORD who said, "Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes." Psalm 89:32. May we believe God and practice his discipline with our families and expect His blessing upon our faithfulness. O Magnify the LORD with me.

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Sent... Reflections on a Mission

10/20/2014

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"There was a man sent from God..." John 1:6

The occasion that suggested this topic was a meeting of our association of churches. I was placed on the “Missions Committee” with the purpose of encouraging the churches, pastors and members to carry out the work of reaching the lost. I have a vested interest in this matter because I have been graciously sent on a mission by my home church, West Black Creek Baptist. I do not feel worthy of such a call but am humbled by the call of my God and my church.

It occurred to me that the word “mission” does not appear in the Bible though the concept is indeed present. The word of significance that appears in the Bible is the word “Sent” and the mission is the specific thing the person is sent to do. The word “sent” appears over 40 times in the Gospel of John alone and is a key word in that book. One does not have to look far for examples of those who are sent by God. Abraham was sent from Ur of the Chaldees to the land of promise. His descendants would later be delivered from bondage in Egypt by Moses, a man sent from God. David was sent to the nation of Israel to deliver them from the Philistines. Prophets were sent by the LORD to His erring people to call them back to God and His word. John the Baptist was sent to prepare a people for the Messiah, Jesus.

And as we look at Jesus we find one who was sent by God, the Father, as the Savior of the world. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel... he hath sent me...” Luke 4:18. "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10. "And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world." 1 John 4:14.

Next we see Jesus sending his followers into the harvest fields to reach the world. "These twelve Jesus sent forth...” Matthew 10:5. "Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you." John 20:21. And the Apostle Paul would remind the churches, "And how shall they preach, except they be sent?” Romans 10:15. Two distinct words are translated sent in the New Testament. One means to be sent with authority and the other to be sent with orders. Both concepts are important to mission work. Authority comes from the call of God recognized and supported by the church. Orders are given by God through His Word providing direction, purpose, and passion for the work.

Let us as a people obey the words of Christ and “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:38. Interestingly, the words “send forth” in this verse are from a different Greek word that carries the idea of “being lead out with a force that can not be resisted.” The harvest is still plenteous, the time is much shorter and the urgency of the gospel is far greater. May it motivate us to cry out to God to “lead out with a force that can not be resisted” and call more laborers into the harvest. LORD Jesus, give me more compassion for “the fainting, the scattered, and the lost sheep” (Matthew 9:36) who need you. And may you be glorified in harvest yet to come! O Magnify the LORD with me!

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Michael R. Thornton is a career teacher/minister/
counselor currently serving as the director of Vital Connections, as well as an itinerant minister in the Pine Belt area. He has been counseling youth and families for over 20 years.

A Few Thoughts On Finding Erma

I Don't Believe in Spanking!

Sent... Reflections on a Mission

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